I love this stuff, it’s like catnip to me. It is romantic and engaging. It inspires action, but I always run into difficulties. I tend to freeze when I take up the pen.

My mind gets stiff, loses its elasticity. I try, but it is not easy to journal. It all seems so mundane. But I persist. More or less.

I live within uncertainty.

I am a trained technical and creative professional with more than twenty-five years of experience. The discipline doesn’t matter really, but my field of choice is architectural consulting.

I am trained to banish uncertainty. I do this mostly on behalf of others, for money.

The professional banishment of uncertainty is a Sisyphean labour - it is never-ending. It is also never concluded or resolved absolutely. Instead of this, it is a repetitive, reflexive practice, one that is perpetually anticipating and swiftly reacting to constantly changing circumstances.

We sell the banishment of uncertainty. It is profitable to do so.

This is the cornerstone of our business and central to the story of our competence. Our clients don’t rely on us primarily to provide ‘design’. This is important but secondary.

They rely on us to eliminate risk. The engine of risk is uncertainty.

Uncertainty is an immense domain and of necessity it is ill-defined in its centre and edges. It exists in the eye of the examiner. To our clients almost everything is uncertain except what they want, or need, or both. We are paid to be one, or perhaps two, steps ahead of them. Within the field of our experience, there are less uncertainties, and our clients benefit from this.

But this is an important point: we are only one or two steps ahead. Less is uncertain, it is true - but much remains indeterminate regardless of our experience and insight.

This keeps the work interesting. But that’s enough of the day job.

Today I am on my own time. When on my own time, the time I spend leading my personal creative life, I wallow in uncertainty.

In this vast realm I am free from the need for my activities to secure financial reward. The day job pays the bills. Here, I am unencumbered and unrestrained. I can move to any point of the compass at will - it simply doesn’t matter.

I do not need to anticipate, manage, manipulate or control risk of any kind. I am free to unknow.

Perhaps most significantly, I am free to set aside all the techniques and methods I have learnt, without consequence. Almost all of these tools are painstakingly calibrated to banish, or at least manage, uncertainty. Here, now, I can abandon them all, and embrace the consequences.

I am free to surrender entirely to a personal ignorance. A panoramic, sweeping vista of uncertainty I am not seeking to resolve.

I am free to declare this without fear of repercussions. And I do so now.

Today, I unknow. Let’s see what happens.

Photograph by Ruth Hametz.

I recently received an email from a random member of the public (well, the design profession) in response to an article I wrote about a house. Doesn’t matter which house. He was an understated troll, keen to demonstrate his knowledge, in that way that some men with a bachelor’s degree in architecture feel the need to do.

The message was not openly hostile, but it was just a bit off, a bit nasty. It left a sour taste in the mouth. It was faintly sarcastic, made a stab at being clever and ‘cutting’, and was just a bit sharp.

Anyway, that’s enough oxygen given to that person. Into the junk folder with that email.

People who exhibit those qualities possess something that I have not seen evidence of in any of the interview subjects I have encountered in 23 years of interviewing: a jaded, bitter cynicism. I’m not interested in conducting dialogue on those terms, and won’t do so.

I have not just interviewed architects in my time so far. I have also interviewed interior designers, landscape architects, urban designers, graphic designers, ceramicists, artists, lighting designers, other writers, publicists, event managers, visual merchandisers - all manner of creative individuals. They have been, without exception, invested in putting both themselves and their work out there, without being guarded, without being rancorous, and without being burdened by an unseemly ambition.

These people are not perfect, far from it. They are certainly self-interested in the most literal sense. After all, by talking to me, they are promoting their interests directly. But there is nothing intrinsically negative about that fact.

In my experience, people who do interesting work don’t seem to be particularly angry about it. People who send unsolicited emails sometimes seem a bit angry about - well, who knows what? I know who I would rather have a coffee and a chat with.

Oh, and the photo of the smiling girl is just to brighten up what would otherwise be a dull post. Look at that smile!